I joke and talk in a light-hearted way when I meet kids. I do so to put-them at-ease and get down to their wavelength. It doesn't take long to be a friend then. Now they will tell you silly jokes, gossips and their concerns. They will tell you their frank opinions and about cool things. Such interaction happens almost all the times - in the class and other places. However I am amused (and puzzled) by the reception I get, when I meet the same child with her/his parents.
Now they appear very formal and indifferent. If I address them, they look at their parents. As if their parents are their spokes-person. They are apprehensive to laugh and participate in the same light-hearted banter that I continue with. Some parents look at their kids fondly to say how well-behaved and shy he/she is etc. But I see tension between where the child wants to be and the situation. They are not sure what is the right thing to say and what they really want to say.
A few kids though remain as normal as they always are even in presence of their parents. They will joke with me and talk about their concerns just as freely in front of their parents as behind them. That says a lot about their relation with parents. It is a pleasure to see such children. There is a comfortable overlap of their world with their parents expectation of their world.
When children have to grow-up in two different worlds, child's own and parent's, with different expectations it becomes harder for them. More importantly the two worlds may grow apart leading to gap in perceptions. So its better to have large overlap between child's world and your own. One sign of this happening is when children remain as their natural self even in parents presence (that is not to say that they are, or should be, unruly).
Now they appear very formal and indifferent. If I address them, they look at their parents. As if their parents are their spokes-person. They are apprehensive to laugh and participate in the same light-hearted banter that I continue with. Some parents look at their kids fondly to say how well-behaved and shy he/she is etc. But I see tension between where the child wants to be and the situation. They are not sure what is the right thing to say and what they really want to say.
A few kids though remain as normal as they always are even in presence of their parents. They will joke with me and talk about their concerns just as freely in front of their parents as behind them. That says a lot about their relation with parents. It is a pleasure to see such children. There is a comfortable overlap of their world with their parents expectation of their world.
When children have to grow-up in two different worlds, child's own and parent's, with different expectations it becomes harder for them. More importantly the two worlds may grow apart leading to gap in perceptions. So its better to have large overlap between child's world and your own. One sign of this happening is when children remain as their natural self even in parents presence (that is not to say that they are, or should be, unruly).
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