Art of Negotiations II

Here is another example of how letting children negotiate is sometimes a wise decision. Occasionally boys get into bitter fighting. They are down to slapping and blows. Such fights are difficult to resolve as they have a long history,  you can never figure out who started it. So the next step is to call parents of both kids and talk to them about the incident. I call for diaries of both kids. This is something neither of the kids want. So I offer them a way out. They should step out-side the class for five minutes to discuss their fight and negotiate if possible. If they can't settle their differences then the note goes to their parents..

Five minutes later the boys knock on the door and stand in front of the class sheepishly. They have to explain to rest of the class their settlement. To my surprise, one of the boys has readily conceded his fault. The other boy graciously accepts it. We get on with the lesson.

When grown-ups resolve the issues, I have noticed, other children in the class often come back with their doubts about the incident for days. The issue seems to have not being quite settled. But when the two parties resolve the issue in front of the class, this has positive effect. All the class seems to be much more satisfied with the resolution. They get back to work with a clear closure.

We have had such five-minutes negotiations a handful of times so far and it's worked every time. The violence has gone down in last couple of months. It makes me believe that if children are gently guided into negotiations and are allowed to have space, they negotiate their differences much better than when adults try to bring order.